6 Scientifically Proven Steps to Building Rapport with Anyone in Sales


Would you like to build
rapport with anyone in sales? Well, the science shows
us that it is possible, yet what’s really happening
in most selling situations to most salespeople is
that they’re doing things in sales that are actually
unconsciously repelling prospects from the very beginning
of the conversation. And, sadly, because prospects
are typically nice people, and they’re not really
looking to give us feedback on what we did well and
what we didn’t do well, they’re just often trying
to get away from us. So we never really learn why that prospect or that opportunity didn’t go the way we expected, it just happens. So, ultimately, we never fix the problem. And there are really only a few key steps to ensuring that you can build rapport with just about anyone,
and it doesn’t require being hilarious or super charismatic. In fact, it’s just a few steps. In this video I’m going
to show you the six steps to building rapport with
anyone, check it out. (clicking) Number one, match vocally. Now, this is something that a lot of people don’t really pay attention to how they’re matching
their prospect vocally. This is true whether we’re face-to-face or whether we’re on the phone. So often prospects have a vocal style. Maybe they’re really loud,
and they speak quickly. Or they’re soft, and they’re gentle, and they almost speak in a whisper. We want to pay attention to that pace, that tone, and that volume
that’s coming from the prospect. Because if they’re really gentle, and quiet, and soft, and
we come in and we’re fast, and we’re loud, and
we’re harsh in our tone, immediately the prospect is going to unconsciously feel a disconnect. Where they don’t know exactly why, but they’re not connecting
with you in a way, and immediately that wall goes up. And we see this all the time. Scientific studies have repeated
this over and over again. When we can match someone vocally we can start to get on the same page. I’ll give you an example
from outside of sales. Just the other day I was
with a doctor who we’re only a couple feet apart,
and he was really loud. You know those really loud talkers, well, that’s exactly what happened. And immediately I’m thinking, man, I’m not feeling really
comfortable in this situation. So we didn’t ultimately have a connection. And it didn’t matter in
that particular situation, but this is what’s happening
to salespeople all the time. Start to pay attention to how you’re matching your prospects vocally. Number two, match vibe. This is the other side
of the scale, right, so it’s pretty much everything
outside of the vocals. In fact, it really in some ways
incorporates vocals as well. But each person, each individual human being gives off a particular vibe. Are they a quick mover,
do they have a quick pace? Do they come in with a strong
handshake and a strong grip? Or, again, are they a more gentle person, and when they introduce themselves they’re slower paced and they’re softer? We want to pay very close
attention to how the prospect is behaving, and we want
to start to match it. Now, I know already I’m
going to get comments from people who are saying,
well, you’re telling me to be different with
each and every person? Well, yes, but you don’t
have to give up who you are. You can still have your core self, but we want to start to match that vibe. It’s amazing how immediately disarming it is when we start to match vibes. You notice that if you’ve
ever seen a psychologist on TV they’re immediately starting to match the patient in front of them. And that’s exactly what we want to do from a sales perspective. So if the prospect ever
answers the phone with a, hello, we want to immediately
start to match that tone, that strong, clearly assertive
tone with a strong vibe. Because if we come in, and
we’re all soft and gentle, immediately they’re gonna be like, hey, come on, move it along here. On the other hand if they answer the phone with, hello,
we want to match that. You can pick it up so quickly, that vibe. So be sure that you’re
starting to pay total attention to what that prospect is doing
when you’re in front of them. Number three, break the pattern. Now, I talk about breaking
the pattern all the time. And if you’ve been following
my videos for a long time this isn’t the first time you’ve heard it. But you can not hear this idea enough. That what is happening with
most selling situations is the prospect who has probably met with 20 other salespeople
in the course of that week, whether by phone or face-to-face. And they are suddenly in front of you. And if you are behaving in a way that is similar to all of
those other salespeople out there, immediately the wall goes up, and that rapport is immediately dead. So what we need to do is we need to immediately break that pattern. We’ve got to break from whatever the prospect expects us to do. Because like all of the
other salespeople out there, they expect us to behave in a certain way. And our job is instead
to do the exact opposite. So if every salesperson were marching east we want to march west. We want to constantly break that pattern, and particularly so at the
beginning of interactions. So, let’s take a typical example of how a salesperson is
starting a phone call. Most salespeople are starting a sales call with some version of, hey George, Marc Wayshak calling, how are you today? What is the prospect immediately going to feel as a result of that experience? Realistically, they’re
going to immediately have their wall go up
because we have behaved in a way that is super duper salesy. So what we need to do
is break that pattern. This is how we built a strong
rapport with our prospect. Building rapport isn’t about magic. It’s just about not being
perceived as salesy, and making them feel like, yeah, you know what I’m
comfortable with this person. So next time you’re in
front of a prospect, instead of coming in with
the traditional old school, hey George, Marc Wayshak
calling, how are you today? Instead, maybe switch it up. Break that pattern by
slowing down the tone, and sounding a little bit more human, and maybe using a line that
sounds a little bit different. Something along the lines of, hey George, Marc Wayshak calling, how have you been? Now, I don’t need to get into the science of exactly what I just said there. I’ve done a lot of
videos on starting calls, and the data behind those
exact lines that I just used. But what we want to be
doing is using approaches that the data shows us
works and is also going to be very different from
what the prospect expects. We do that, and we’re much more likely to truly build a strong
rapport with that prospect. Number four, focus on them. You know, I used to have a
mentor who would always tell me that prospects listen
to one radio station. You know what that radio
station is, WIIFM. (laughs) And some of you may know what that means, which is what’s in it for
me, what’s in it for me? Prospects don’t care about you. They don’t care about the fact that you need to close a sale. They don’t care about your life. They don’t even care about your product. They certainly don’t
care about your company. And I hate to say it again,
but they don’t care about you. All they care about is themselves. So when so many salespeople
are starting calls by talking all about themselves,
or all about their product, or all about their company the prospect is immediately starting to tune out. And you’ve been there, if
you’ve ever been a buyer, and the salesperson just
starts talking about themself, or maybe even in a non-sales situation where you’re talking to
someone at a barbecue, and all they want to do
is talk about themselves. And all you want to do is get the hell out of that conversation. We need to change the
focus of our conversations from ever talking about
ourselves to talking about them. Even when we do talk about
ourselves we need to do it within a frame that is
really still focused on them, and the challenges that
they want to overcome, and the goals that they
want to accomplish. So even at the beginning of a conversation when we’re talking about the purpose of our call we still want
to give them some insight that’s actually ultimately
helpful in their own business, that’s ultimately focusing
on them by maybe focusing on some of the challenges
that you commonly solve. So starting a call with, George, the reason for my call is that I work with a lot of companies that often come to me when they’re struggling
with, dealing with, frustrated about, whatever it is, right? We’re going to talk about the challenges. And then, of course,
we want to engage them in that conversation by saying
something along the lines of, does any of this ring true to you, or does this make sense with you? Suck them into that conversation, so that way they start talking
about what they care about, which is who, not you, them, right? All they care about is themselves. Focus on them, and then target the rest of the conversation around them. You know, again, I always
talk about this idea of we want to have that doctor’s mindset. A great doctor is going to
spend the entire conversation really focused on the patient. In your case you really
want to be focused on them. And even when you’re
doing your presentation it’s ultimately about how
your solution is going to solve the challenges that
they have already discussed. So it’s 100% focused on what they care about, which
is again, whom, them. Number five, repeat and rephrase. Now, this is something
that I’ve been using in my selling system for a long time. But, actually, the way I
look at it now I give credit to an author named Chris Voss,
who was a hostage negotiator. And he recently wrote a book
called Split the Difference. And he talks about how
in hostage situations what we often want to do in
order to create that rapport, create that connection, is to repeat what they say and rephrase what they say. Now, he doesn’t use that exact language, but that’s my takeaway from it. And I’ve seen that now
there’s a lot of research that shows that when we repeat
what the prospect told us or we rephrase what they told
us, immediately they start to think, hey, this person is getting me. This person is listening to me. And, also, often it allows us
to actually dig more deeply. Let’s say a prospect says
something along the lines of, yeah, you know, that’s a huge problem. The response would be, huge problem? And then let them open up and say, yeah, so what happened is this,
and that, and this, right? So it’s allowing you by
simply repeating a key phrase of what they said, now it’s
going to take them deeper. Then, once you’ve started to
understand what they’re saying you can rephrase what they
say with something like this. So, George, if I’m hearing you
correctly what you’re saying is A, B, and C are those key
challenges, is that correct? And let them say, yes,
that’s exactly right, or no, actually, you know, A and B
was right, but C not so much. Let me tell you about what
that key challenge is. And what we’re doing is we’re showing that we’re really paying attention. We’re taking it so much more
deeply into that conversation. So by repeating and rephrasing
we’re going to build a much stronger rapport
with that prospect. Because in their mind
they’re thinking this is someone who is understanding
what I’m saying. You know, let’s not take
for granted how valuable a commodity being understood actually is. When people feel like they’re understood they can suddenly feel
good about that person. It’s really, really powerful stuff. So start to repeat and
rephrase what your prospects are saying to build a much deeper rapport. Number six, feedback loops. This is just another really
powerful scientifically proven way to go so much
deeper with your prospects. And this often comes when
you’re actually doing more of the presenting or you’re
doing more of the talking. When you’re in a situation
where you have to go on for let’s say 45 seconds of talking, but you want to rope them
back into the conversation. So, let’s say you’re in the presentation phase of your conversation. So you’re talking about a key feature, and you’re saying, George,
what this is going to do is it’s gonna ensure that you’re solving that problem A that you just mentioned. Does that make sense? And what they’re naturally
going to do is say, yeah, that does make sense, or
no, that doesn’t make sense. That’s a feedback loop,
it’s that little question, like does that make sense,
or does that work for you, or do you see what I’m
saying, or is that okay? Whatever it is, it’s
these little questions. It could even be like, cool, right? Any little question that
is sucking someone back into the conversation is going
to get them to feel engaged. So you never want to be in a situation where you’re talking, and
talking, and talking without at least interjecting some
feedback loops throughout. And what you’re going to
find is that it ensures that the prospect is with
you the whole way through, because they’ll tell you if it’s not. On the other hand, if it is, then now you’re getting these little closes. So, there are the six
scientifically proven steps to building rapport with anyone in sales. I want to hear from you, which of these ideas did you find most useful? Be sure to share down below
in the comment section to get involved in the conversation. And if you enjoyed this
video, then I have an awesome free eBook on 25 tips to
crush your sales goals. Just click right here, this little image right here, to get it instantly. Seriously, just click right here. Also, if you got some value, please like this video below on YouTube. And be sure to subscribe to my channel by clicking my little face
right there to get access to a new video just
like this one each week.

27 comments on “6 Scientifically Proven Steps to Building Rapport with Anyone in Sales

  1. It's no longer the way it used to be back in the days. Things have changed a lot and I'm happy to be able to learn from people like Marc!

  2. 7:51 Number 4. That's my favorite one. Focus on THEM. Listen to their story, tell them a story that will help THEM, give them what THEY need. A lot of people would have millions of followers on social media but they would never (not once) ask their public exactly what they want to see next from them. Which product they need. What they should improve, etc, etc…

  3. Great video as always Marc!! I’m currently reading Chris Voss’ book and loved your point about rephrasing what your prospect says..

    Could you do a video on various sales books that helped you at various times in your career? Would be great to see your recommendations.

  4. Hey Marc,
    I'm working with an online shop where we basicly get a database of all the custmers that bought something at our page, and my job is to call them and offer XYZ products (currently smart watches are what im trying to do) the thing is that some days i sell 10 of them, and for instance today I only sold 1, my lines are always the same (more or less) since I cannot really offer any real value to them based on their problems.
    My question to you is, how should I sell it to make my customer engaged as much as possible, because many of them simply go to brick wall mode and all you hear is "No thanks".
    Any experience with that?

    I thank you for you reply in advance.

  5. Wow Marc you really killed it, appreciate all of your work. I always come back for a refresher, you always remind me of something I can correct and improve on.

  6. Dynamite info, not in sales now but sold cars many years ago. Would have made a killing if I had this type of specific insight!👍

  7. There is no unique way to build rapport with anyone because building rapport is depending on the culture of the other person with whom you try to build rapport, each culture has its unique way of building rapport, and since we leave in a world of multi-culture, so building rapport is different from culture to another

  8. Hi Marc, I think it is super awkward to ask a prospect on a cold call "how have you been" and so on, it just makes people annoyed, like who is this and what do you want and how you got my number. My approach is just direct: Hello I'm XY calling form XY company, we have not been in touch, the reason for the call is that your company could be a good fit etc. etc. WDYT?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *